Michigan (Part 1) or A True Story, Seriously, This IS A Blog Post! or The Giant Robot vs. The Über-Mosquito (Part 1!?)

Out somewhere on a trail in the West-Central Michiganian woods
I couldn't hear another human being. My cell phone was off, not that it would have mattered. I sat on a log where the sun broke through the canopy. Across the path, I noticed a Monster Energy Drink can left upside down on a tree branch
and frowned. I walked over to remove the can, and when I did, there were two fuzzy caterpillars inside. I actually felt bad, because
c'mon, if you're a caterpillar, you're not gonna find a better bird defense than
MONSTER ENERGY DRINK.
Who would have thought?
Not me.
I sat back on my log (it is my log now, finders keepers) and watched a spider bump into an ant; they frightened one another and scurried in opposite directions. Then the spider spun a web, and I wished that somehow we could collaborate to
kill all these damn mosquitos.
Then I saw the Über-Mosquito, and we had a showdown.
It was a draw. He left, so I spent a while pretending that I was a giant robot and the mosquitos were fighter planes trying hopelessly to defend their beloved Earth from rapacious alien might.
Then I wondered when the last time was that I couldn't hear or see human life.
Then I heard a plane and frowned.
Then I wondered if my tone wasn't conversational enough, too monologuesque (monologuey?), then wondered why or if it mattered, then wondered if this counts as poetry, but decided that it was, perhaps, not exacting, pithy, or polished enough to be poetry, and thus probably prose.
He is back! The Über-Mosquito! (A technical term)
He is large and very fast, so fast it is hard to tell that he is even a mosquito at all.
I leap to my feet and we have a battle so intense it requires
a shift to the present tense. After darting, feinting, bobbing and weaving, I finally land a solid swipe of my small, black-leather notebook to his backside (well, at least I think it was his backside) and the Über-Mosquito goes careening off into the distance--but I'm sure he isn't finished.
There will probably be a sequel.
BUT THEN! A WASP! He landed on my leg and in an instant I'd stamped him into the crisp brown leaves below. False ending; I guess the Über-Mosquito was just the second in command. But now, the dastardly plot of Wasp and Über-Mosquito has been crushed. The Giant Robot is the hero.
There'll be no sequel.
(Cut to shot of Über-Mosquito looking menacing, ominous music, fade to black).