I want to say everything at once
or nothing at all.
The six year old approach
to telling, the whole
vanilla sheet cake of experience
in one bite.
'Cause sometimes, the story seems to splinter
into small tinsel party-favor bags,
two tin soldiers of truth,
a hot wheels mantra, and a little packet of
gum drop lies
that stick to your teeth.
So instead, I try drawing
lines from pieces to whole,
like the sketched skeleton of a Tipi,
or a life story
in pointillism.
I spend my nights
plucking little words from
God's Great Leatherbound Dictionary,
dropping them into your lap
like stars.
Someday soon, I'll find
the primeval password that
renders everything weightless,
written into the towering walls of time.
I will whisper it
into your open ear,
and you will move forward
like a steamship,
your course quiet and true as
the movement of clouds.
Sunday, August 30, 2009
Wednesday, August 26, 2009
13, Not 3
Alex Rodriguez
played small ball
in my hometown.
60,000 people, papermills, one college, Wisconsin.
I was 7 when his smile and swing
lit up the local batting cages:
power, potential, hope.
I had 14 different rookie cards,
and my 6th grade biography
featured a 3 ft. drawing of
the best shortstop of all-time.
Then money and drugs
rolled in like early afternoon clouds,
graying the hometown hero.
His eyes have been sad
for years now, heavied
with doubt and divorce.
My perfect symbol;
the fall from youth
and grace
bats clean up.
And he will break all the records.
played small ball
in my hometown.
60,000 people, papermills, one college, Wisconsin.
I was 7 when his smile and swing
lit up the local batting cages:
power, potential, hope.
I had 14 different rookie cards,
and my 6th grade biography
featured a 3 ft. drawing of
the best shortstop of all-time.
Then money and drugs
rolled in like early afternoon clouds,
graying the hometown hero.
His eyes have been sad
for years now, heavied
with doubt and divorce.
My perfect symbol;
the fall from youth
and grace
bats clean up.
And he will break all the records.
The End of Nights
Sometimes I fail.
Sometimes I feel like a failure.
The indefinite article is
important.
Often, I can't see
the way.
Frequently, the way seems
illusory.
But sometimes,
sometimes,
God feels close.
And nothing else really matters.
Sometimes, I don't polish my poems, and
let them be.
As they are.
Fine line between brilliance
and drivel.
I'll walk it happily,
thank you very much.
Sometimes I feel like a failure.
The indefinite article is
important.
Often, I can't see
the way.
Frequently, the way seems
illusory.
But sometimes,
sometimes,
God feels close.
And nothing else really matters.
Sometimes, I don't polish my poems, and
let them be.
As they are.
Fine line between brilliance
and drivel.
I'll walk it happily,
thank you very much.
Wednesday, August 19, 2009
Orientalism
Despite (or maybe to spite) my high priced education
I want to be a wandering poet
draped in soft olive robes,
listening to the soft swirl of sakura
fall all around me
like pink snow.
The plethora of polysyllabics-
Exoticization-Romanticization-Eroticization-
are frail shadows in
the face of a quiet mountain framed in sun.
We deconstruct, deride and
analyze to a hair,
but the simple eminence of predawn light
makes all my philosophy feel foolish.
I want to be a wandering poet
draped in soft olive robes,
listening to the soft swirl of sakura
fall all around me
like pink snow.
The plethora of polysyllabics-
Exoticization-Romanticization-Eroticization-
are frail shadows in
the face of a quiet mountain framed in sun.
We deconstruct, deride and
analyze to a hair,
but the simple eminence of predawn light
makes all my philosophy feel foolish.
Friday, August 14, 2009
Deutschland to Germany
There are museums with neo-doric columns
to visit. Monuments from the worst war
to behold, haunting the backdrop of everyday life
like original sin.
But right now, all I want to do
is sit by this cafe's open window,
away from the heady mid-day sun
and speculate: who will be the next
to read the books about culture and angels
sitting so high on the decorative shelves?
These volumes exist here as dead weight,
as though without the literary gravity
imparted by heaven and art
the caffeinated drinks with Italian names
and the sufferable music they call "Deep House"
would tear the whole building free of the sidewalk,
heavy steel cables in the walls straining and snapping
bass-toned twang, dangling from jagged concrete like
silver spaghetti, shining in the sun.
to visit. Monuments from the worst war
to behold, haunting the backdrop of everyday life
like original sin.
But right now, all I want to do
is sit by this cafe's open window,
away from the heady mid-day sun
and speculate: who will be the next
to read the books about culture and angels
sitting so high on the decorative shelves?
These volumes exist here as dead weight,
as though without the literary gravity
imparted by heaven and art
the caffeinated drinks with Italian names
and the sufferable music they call "Deep House"
would tear the whole building free of the sidewalk,
heavy steel cables in the walls straining and snapping
bass-toned twang, dangling from jagged concrete like
silver spaghetti, shining in the sun.
Monday, August 10, 2009
Ich bin nicht ein Berliner, aber ich esse Berliner gern
When I was first coming to Berlin, I was worried. I had been looking forward to coming here for the longest time because EVERYONE has had only the best things to say about it, but the first and thus far only couchsurfer to bail on me was my first host in Berlin. I just could not get a hold of her to save my life so I texted Nikolas, the other guy who I was going to be staying with my last two days here. Fortunately he had no problem hosting me for all 4 nights instead of just 2, and we have had a great time. It would be a bit exhausting to relay everything in a seamless, all inclusive and cohesive narrative, and I am already exhausted. So here is what I will do instead:
Hightlights!
1. Pergamon museum with the massive Pergamon Altar (c. 3rd century BCE I think) and the massive Ishtar gate of Babylon. They are quite amazing. The Ishtar gate didn´t look at all how I expected it to, and the Pergamon Altar looked exactly how I expected it to, and both were awesome in the literal sense of the word.
2. Altes National Gallery. They had a ton of Caspar David Friedrich paintings, a few Monets, a couple Cezzanes, and one Renoir painting I really liked. It is an homage to 19th century painting (the brochure says that in even more flowery language), which is great for me because most of my favorite artists lived in the 19th century! It is much muich smaller than the national gallery in London, but it was quieter so that was nice.
3. Maybe the coolest bar I have ever been to is here in Berlin. It is on the top floor of an old apartment building with graffiti EVERYWHERE. Seriously, from the bottom of the stairwell to the top floor I dont think there is a single space of blank wall left, and usually the graffiti is layered ontop of earlier graffiti. On the top floor, there is a large balcony from which you can see the old black and white movies that are projected from the roof of the apartment building onto the white wall of the building on the other side of the vacant lot. On the floor below this bar/club, there is a rather awesome art gallery thats open pretty much all night (at least it was open when we arrived at like 1am).
4. I took the Free Walking Tour that everyone I have met has raved about. They were right to rave. In addition to the absolutely obligatory sights like the Brandenburg Gate, the Reichstag and the old Berlin Wall, we saw the old Luftwaffe headquarters and the area where Hitlers bunker had been.
5. Lots and lots and lots of Drunken German speaking :) Now that I am a little more confident in my ability to speak German, its been really a lot of fun, and I think I will actually really miss speaking it when I fly to London in the morning.
Alright, time to head out to Wannsee, bis später!
Hightlights!
1. Pergamon museum with the massive Pergamon Altar (c. 3rd century BCE I think) and the massive Ishtar gate of Babylon. They are quite amazing. The Ishtar gate didn´t look at all how I expected it to, and the Pergamon Altar looked exactly how I expected it to, and both were awesome in the literal sense of the word.
2. Altes National Gallery. They had a ton of Caspar David Friedrich paintings, a few Monets, a couple Cezzanes, and one Renoir painting I really liked. It is an homage to 19th century painting (the brochure says that in even more flowery language), which is great for me because most of my favorite artists lived in the 19th century! It is much muich smaller than the national gallery in London, but it was quieter so that was nice.
3. Maybe the coolest bar I have ever been to is here in Berlin. It is on the top floor of an old apartment building with graffiti EVERYWHERE. Seriously, from the bottom of the stairwell to the top floor I dont think there is a single space of blank wall left, and usually the graffiti is layered ontop of earlier graffiti. On the top floor, there is a large balcony from which you can see the old black and white movies that are projected from the roof of the apartment building onto the white wall of the building on the other side of the vacant lot. On the floor below this bar/club, there is a rather awesome art gallery thats open pretty much all night (at least it was open when we arrived at like 1am).
4. I took the Free Walking Tour that everyone I have met has raved about. They were right to rave. In addition to the absolutely obligatory sights like the Brandenburg Gate, the Reichstag and the old Berlin Wall, we saw the old Luftwaffe headquarters and the area where Hitlers bunker had been.
5. Lots and lots and lots of Drunken German speaking :) Now that I am a little more confident in my ability to speak German, its been really a lot of fun, and I think I will actually really miss speaking it when I fly to London in the morning.
Alright, time to head out to Wannsee, bis später!
Sunday, August 9, 2009
Hamburg
Well, this blog is falling behind. But probably better that I am not inside online all day everyday. Anyways, Hamburg was pretty great as well. I saw some nice parks and a cool church memorial that was an old neo-gothic cathedral that had been bombed out that they left as a war memorial (there is another bombed out church here in Berlin that i think i will go to tomorrow) that was pretty cool. It seemed particularly effective as well; there is something especially haunting about tall arched windows with gray bricks filling them instead of stained glass.
Maybe the best part of Hamburg was a new development near the port area called HaffenCity. Its really, REALLY cool. Hard to describe in the best way possible. Just google image search it, or wait to see my pictures :)
My host also took me out to a couple of her favorite pubs, one of which was just a HUGE open room with like 20 couches everywhere, and the other was called something like the Gold Fish Bowl....errr, something like that, and they had this really cool touchscreen pool! That is, it had like 1 inch of water and underneath a touchscreen where you could attract the fish pictured there by putting your finger in the water and touching the screen! It was pretty awesome.
Now, I should go out and further explore the wonderful hauptstadt Berlin!
Bis Später!
Maybe the best part of Hamburg was a new development near the port area called HaffenCity. Its really, REALLY cool. Hard to describe in the best way possible. Just google image search it, or wait to see my pictures :)
My host also took me out to a couple of her favorite pubs, one of which was just a HUGE open room with like 20 couches everywhere, and the other was called something like the Gold Fish Bowl....errr, something like that, and they had this really cool touchscreen pool! That is, it had like 1 inch of water and underneath a touchscreen where you could attract the fish pictured there by putting your finger in the water and touching the screen! It was pretty awesome.
Now, I should go out and further explore the wonderful hauptstadt Berlin!
Bis Später!
Thursday, August 6, 2009
The Fish are Jumping
I never saw them.
My Grandfather knew this, so everytime
he would swing his great auburn arm
and point--"Look!"
Snap my head like an antelope
to the stern: only ripples on the sleepy surface.
Really, Grandpa´s steely insistence to point out every fish
slowly built a stalactite of frustration and doubt
from my windpipe to solar plexus.
But even then I knew that his was an iron will,
fired in the crucible of the Great War,
for his children and their´s
to taste only the fresh breeze of the Pacific Northwest.
But my mother got the folded flag when I was four
with the coffin that can´t be opened.
I had to drink ever deeper of the silent wooded lakes
for all three of us.
When I knew he was looking, I´d close my eyes and mouth
breathe in as long and loud as 12 year olds can,
imgagining tiny spruce and redwoods taking seed in my chest,
roots through my lungs, sprouting between ribs,
and finally raise my gaze to meet his
smile and endless eyes, alive
with the happier shade of sadness.
My Grandfather knew this, so everytime
he would swing his great auburn arm
and point--"Look!"
Snap my head like an antelope
to the stern: only ripples on the sleepy surface.
Really, Grandpa´s steely insistence to point out every fish
slowly built a stalactite of frustration and doubt
from my windpipe to solar plexus.
But even then I knew that his was an iron will,
fired in the crucible of the Great War,
for his children and their´s
to taste only the fresh breeze of the Pacific Northwest.
But my mother got the folded flag when I was four
with the coffin that can´t be opened.
I had to drink ever deeper of the silent wooded lakes
for all three of us.
When I knew he was looking, I´d close my eyes and mouth
breathe in as long and loud as 12 year olds can,
imgagining tiny spruce and redwoods taking seed in my chest,
roots through my lungs, sprouting between ribs,
and finally raise my gaze to meet his
smile and endless eyes, alive
with the happier shade of sadness.
Köln, or Ich Liebe Ümlauts
Köln war viel spaß. My first couchsurfing host graciously waited for me at the hauptbahnhof for about 2 hours since my first train was canceled and my second train was late! Her name is Louisa and she actually grew up in Canada until she was 8, so her English ist fast Perfekt! We went out for drinks with her friend Alejandro, a really friendly engineer who is currently out of work....just like 12 % of Germany. He was a little older, i think around 30, but he was really friendly, and because German ist nicht ihren Muttersprache, he spoke more slowly and so it was easier for me to understand. We went to a biergarten and drank a couple of Kölsch, the ubiquitously present beer aus Köln, then went to a bar that had 2 for 1 cocktails and we split 2 mojitos and 2 swimmingpools (like a pina colada but with BRIGHT blue food coloring, not as gross as it sounds) between the four of us; and then, then I had currywurst. MMMMMM, I do love me some currywurst. Also, Köln is rather cheap! The bar we were at was relatively chic, but the cocktails, at a 1am happy hour on a Saturday night, were about €4.50 each! And meine Currywurst war nür €2!
The next day, I explored Köln on my own. I went to the cathedral, that is truly massive, and wandered around inside for about an hour, paying the simple €1 fee to see the 10th century book covers and reliquaries they have in their treasury! Cool (for me anyway). I wandered around the fancy shopping district for a while, but everything was closed. I stopped by this cafe that my host had recommended called something like the Cafe Washing Machine auf Deutsch. The decor was really cool; all of the lamp shades were made from old, old washing machines. I emphasize the decor in part because it was awesome, and in part because the services was complete shit. I sat there for like 15 minutes by myself without being served, and watched as other people came in, sat down, and were served immediately. Maybe it was something about me that advertised I was only in the market for a coffee and maybe a croissant during the lunch rush, but I was rather taken aback. So after 15-20 minutes, I left without ordering anything. This ended up being in my favor actually. I stopped by what I THOUGHT was a place called Marx´s Winebar. Cool huh? So I sat down at a table outside but under their awning (it was sprinkling lightly, the first and only rain Ive seen during daylight hours this whole trip!), and a waitress came by within 45 seconds to aske me what I wanted. I ordered a glass of 2005 Bordeaux (probably the best vintage from Bordeaux in the last century, no joke), but the waitress informed me that the kitchen was closed, and they only had brunch, I spoke my halting half German to explain that I didn´t have a ton of money, so if the kitchen was closed, ein Glas Rotwein und vielleicht später ein Kaffee would be enough. However, she came back about 10 minutes later to say she had asked the chef if he would make something and he had said yes! I ordered a simple snack of schwarzbröt und käse, Gouda. The snack and wine were delicious, and I had a nice relaxing time reading and writing at.....nope, not Marx´s Winebar. Again in broken German, I asked the waitress why the owner had chosen that name, and she laughed to say that Marx´s Winebar´s sign was for the place next door that was closed on Sunday, and I was at the Lichtenberg---the Light Mountain. Sure enough, inside, it was plain as day. They had the MASSIVE chandeliers (sp?) that were made of all kinds of random glass, ashtrays, wineglasses, old vases, everything! It was awesome. And the whole wonderful experience, fantastic wine, cheese, bread, atmosphere, service and all, cost me something on the order of €6.50!
After my wonderfully satisfying snack, I went back towards the Dom, passed it, decided I didn´t want to pay €15 for a museum, and wandered around the Altstadt on the Rhein! I stumbled upon a pub called the Bier Muzeum, mit 18 Bier vom Fass! Es war ganz toll. Ich hätte eine Leffe und habe die erste halb des UEFA U19 Championships angeschaut. It was England vs. Ukraine, and Ukraine was up 1-o when I left.
Finally, I met up with my host and her friend Mara to go out for a drink again. This time we got Kölsch at the Früh Kölsch Brauhaus, und dann ein Caparinha (again, sp?). Slowly but surely, my German is improving. We chatted over drinks, and when it came time to go, I asked my host if it was still OK if I stayed a third night. She got a bit antsy because she had a lot of work to do, but then her friend Mara offered to host me since she wasn´t going to her bf´s place in Bonn that night!
The next day, Mara took me to her workplace to get a map of Köln. This place is called the Globetrotter, and it makes Dick´s Sporting Goods look like Footlocker. Seriously. It´s supposedly the biggest outdoor sporting shop in all of Europe, they have a cold room where you can try on jackets, and even a pool for kayaks and canoes. Sweet. Then we went for another bier at the Bier Muzeum (ein Eisbock this time), and finally back to her place for dinner and cocktails. She invited a couple of friends over and we made Caparinhas and played German singstar! I knew like 3 of the German songs, so I sang those and then we switched to the American one. One of Mara´s friends actually did a HS exchange program in Edina when she was younger! Ganz cool.
Und Jetzt bin ich ins Hamburg! At somepoint, however, I have to stop writing and get out and start doing at least a LITTLE bit in this city, so I will have to wait until tomorrow oder ins Berlin to update about Hamburg. Bis dann!
The next day, I explored Köln on my own. I went to the cathedral, that is truly massive, and wandered around inside for about an hour, paying the simple €1 fee to see the 10th century book covers and reliquaries they have in their treasury! Cool (for me anyway). I wandered around the fancy shopping district for a while, but everything was closed. I stopped by this cafe that my host had recommended called something like the Cafe Washing Machine auf Deutsch. The decor was really cool; all of the lamp shades were made from old, old washing machines. I emphasize the decor in part because it was awesome, and in part because the services was complete shit. I sat there for like 15 minutes by myself without being served, and watched as other people came in, sat down, and were served immediately. Maybe it was something about me that advertised I was only in the market for a coffee and maybe a croissant during the lunch rush, but I was rather taken aback. So after 15-20 minutes, I left without ordering anything. This ended up being in my favor actually. I stopped by what I THOUGHT was a place called Marx´s Winebar. Cool huh? So I sat down at a table outside but under their awning (it was sprinkling lightly, the first and only rain Ive seen during daylight hours this whole trip!), and a waitress came by within 45 seconds to aske me what I wanted. I ordered a glass of 2005 Bordeaux (probably the best vintage from Bordeaux in the last century, no joke), but the waitress informed me that the kitchen was closed, and they only had brunch, I spoke my halting half German to explain that I didn´t have a ton of money, so if the kitchen was closed, ein Glas Rotwein und vielleicht später ein Kaffee would be enough. However, she came back about 10 minutes later to say she had asked the chef if he would make something and he had said yes! I ordered a simple snack of schwarzbröt und käse, Gouda. The snack and wine were delicious, and I had a nice relaxing time reading and writing at.....nope, not Marx´s Winebar. Again in broken German, I asked the waitress why the owner had chosen that name, and she laughed to say that Marx´s Winebar´s sign was for the place next door that was closed on Sunday, and I was at the Lichtenberg---the Light Mountain. Sure enough, inside, it was plain as day. They had the MASSIVE chandeliers (sp?) that were made of all kinds of random glass, ashtrays, wineglasses, old vases, everything! It was awesome. And the whole wonderful experience, fantastic wine, cheese, bread, atmosphere, service and all, cost me something on the order of €6.50!
After my wonderfully satisfying snack, I went back towards the Dom, passed it, decided I didn´t want to pay €15 for a museum, and wandered around the Altstadt on the Rhein! I stumbled upon a pub called the Bier Muzeum, mit 18 Bier vom Fass! Es war ganz toll. Ich hätte eine Leffe und habe die erste halb des UEFA U19 Championships angeschaut. It was England vs. Ukraine, and Ukraine was up 1-o when I left.
Finally, I met up with my host and her friend Mara to go out for a drink again. This time we got Kölsch at the Früh Kölsch Brauhaus, und dann ein Caparinha (again, sp?). Slowly but surely, my German is improving. We chatted over drinks, and when it came time to go, I asked my host if it was still OK if I stayed a third night. She got a bit antsy because she had a lot of work to do, but then her friend Mara offered to host me since she wasn´t going to her bf´s place in Bonn that night!
The next day, Mara took me to her workplace to get a map of Köln. This place is called the Globetrotter, and it makes Dick´s Sporting Goods look like Footlocker. Seriously. It´s supposedly the biggest outdoor sporting shop in all of Europe, they have a cold room where you can try on jackets, and even a pool for kayaks and canoes. Sweet. Then we went for another bier at the Bier Muzeum (ein Eisbock this time), and finally back to her place for dinner and cocktails. She invited a couple of friends over and we made Caparinhas and played German singstar! I knew like 3 of the German songs, so I sang those and then we switched to the American one. One of Mara´s friends actually did a HS exchange program in Edina when she was younger! Ganz cool.
Und Jetzt bin ich ins Hamburg! At somepoint, however, I have to stop writing and get out and start doing at least a LITTLE bit in this city, so I will have to wait until tomorrow oder ins Berlin to update about Hamburg. Bis dann!
Tuesday, August 4, 2009
Basel! (Not of Baker St.)
Basel was great. It wasnt quite as picturesqe as Lausanne, a city which I still feel in love with a week later, but it was a ton of fun. I just happened to choose to leave Switzerland on the national holiday, but the celebration was the night before, so my last night in Basel I went to a barbecue, saw fireworks over the Rhein, and then went to a really cool bar. It was in an old train yard, without any real advertising from the street, so you just walk into this industrial complex and eventually you come to this huge open space with two outdoor bars and music and a dance floor right next to the old abandoned railroad tracks. It was pretty awesome. Also, earlier that day, we went swimming in the Rhein! I´ve never swam in a river with quite so fast a current before, so we just walked upstream for about an hour then got in and floated/swam back down.
Unfortunately, my train from Basel nach Köln war ausgefallen. Canceled. So getting to Cologne was a bit of a pain, but I made it! More on Cologne soon, when I have time, but for now I am off to Hamburg!
Tschüss!
Unfortunately, my train from Basel nach Köln war ausgefallen. Canceled. So getting to Cologne was a bit of a pain, but I made it! More on Cologne soon, when I have time, but for now I am off to Hamburg!
Tschüss!
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